I thought it only fitting that I post this today as women, men, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, husbands and wives are rising up to speak out about the violence against women. I was one of those women wrapped in the chains of violence and it took me 22 long years, and 2 failed marriages, to break those chains.
My story didn’t start with the marriages. It started much earlier when, as a young girl, I was molested by a half-brother and a grandfather. It was many years later after breaking those chains, that I knew in my heart that those earlier circumstances were what lead me to the men I married. For many years I would not speak about the things I had been through and there are still details, no one knows. Not because I can’t bring myself to speak about them, but because I have found that I am able to help others without all the details of my experiences. Healing is a reality not just something we hope for!
However, you could say that my chains started even earlier than the first day I was abused. My parents divorced when I was 5 and I watched as my father threw my mother out of the house. I was hiding where they couldn’t see me and crying softly. I just knew it had to have been something I did. I didn’t see my mother for years after that. Despite everyone telling you, it isn’t your fault, as a child, you never really believe that. I don’t remember consciously thinking about it much but I would discover later, when I had my own children, that it had always been buried in my subconscious. I now know that it wasn’t anything I did but it took me many years to understand that.
I was blessed with 3 beautiful children and it was because of those children and my experiences of divorced parents I endured the abuse. Ironically, it was those beautiful children that helped me find the way out. They don’t know that, it wasn’t something they did or said. As a mother, there is nothing we wouldn’t do for our children. I love my children with all my heart and I know they love me. I knew that then and it was as if a light went off..divorced parents or dead mom..divorced parents was a much healthier option for all concerned. This truly was a case of “Love conquers all.”
I have always been blessed with the ability to keep the smile in my heart despite the outside challenges I may be facing. However I have not always had the ability to truly know how to break the chains and stop the cycle of abuse. Learning to break that cycle is a true awakening to the power of who you are. It is a time of returning to spirit and knowing you are worthy of love and to be treated like the goddess that you are.
There are no excuses for violence against another human being. If you are reading this and in a violent situation, STOP reading, get help. Violence comes in many forms and is not always physical. If you feel anything less than extraordinary you may be suffering from abuse. We all need to rise up against violence! Children learn by example, they mimic what they see. We need to show them a world filled with love and peace.
If I only help one person in this world to break those chains I will have been a success.
I would love to hear what you are doing to stand up against violence..leave a comment below and share with the community of friends.